The inflated charms of Jordan

EVERY YEAR Jordan just keeps getting bigger and bigger. The glamour model that is, not the Formula One motor racing team. When she first worked for Jordan four years ago she was a 36C. Over the years, thanks to the surgeon's knife and silicone, she has re-emerged as a 36D, 36DD and last week at Silverstone, she straddled the EJ11 bursting out of her Jordan bodysuit as a freakish 36E.

Even though the image propelled the Jordan launch on to the back page of The Sun last week, it's the type of relentless progression that Eddie Jordan himself must be envious of. The symmetry that saw Jordan move from fifth to fourth to third place in 1999 with 61 points in the constructors' championship was shattered last year as Jordan slumped to sixth place with a paltry 17 points. After fighting for years to join the elite of F1, Jordan appeared not to have a head for heights. Jordan the girl aside, Tuesday's launch of the EJ11, held in a marquee erected at the Jordan headquarters in Silverstone rather than amidst the usual razzmatazz of a West End venue, was the work of a team seriously taking stock of itself.

Eddie Unplugged went down well with the press, the pared down version suitably portraying the impression that Jordan are smarting from the reverses of last year and are hell-bent on doing something about it, even to the extent, as F1's king of the party revealed, of cancelling the team's Christmas bash. It was, as Jordan admitted himself a couple of days later as he relaxed at his home in Oxfordshire, a neat piece of reverse-psychology.

"The press have to have something to hang it on and, with the old story about having two non-British drivers, how are we going to get column inches? We've got to have something that they can rip us on and then make us look good and, of course, old Scrooge here being the party pooper is perfect."
Fun and games aside, Jordan doesn't play down the seriousness of the situation they face after 11 years building up the team and the brand.
"We screwed it up last year. We now have no excuses. We have two super drivers, a bigger budget this year than ever before. I have to deliver or get the hell out of here."

The ace in his pack is the new Honda works engine fitted in the car this year, a deal that Jordan pulled out of the blue last July. Honda, which has a rich pedigree in F1, had apparently decided to supply the BAR team with the engines exclusively, at a price, but did an about-turn when Jordan approached them. Opinions differ as to what is the most important element in a winning car - the tyres or the engine - but, for starters, the deal shaped Jordan last season.
"We built a very fast car last year but it wasn't reliable and, in order to sort out reliability, we had to sacrifice speed. Also, several players like BMW came in with works teams. We had a customer engine, on top of an unreliable car and we were stuffed.
"When we signed the new Honda deal, I told a number of people who would be involved in its development, 'Let's write this year off and concentrate totally on 2001' and as a result we got little or no points after that, but I had no alternative."

Putting the deal in layman's terms, Jordan says, "In 30 years, that was the biggest thing I'd ever done." The deal is believed to be for five years, while BAR's is up to the end of the season only. Jordan regards it as the staging post for regaining the unofficial, secondary championship - the race for the third place - and, in time, launching an assault on the Ferrari/McLaren duopoly. Those who scoff at the suggestion would have done the same 10 years ago at predictions that Jordan would be where they are today.
"We've won the Formula Ford championship, we've won the Formula 3,000. I've won pole positions, fastest laps, finished first and second in a grand prix, third in a championship. I now need to win the championship. All else is nonsense."

The EJ11 tests at Silverstone

Jordan, and you don't just have to take the Bray man's word for it, is already, after Ferrari, the most recognisable brand in F1.
"McLaren will say, 'You've done absolutely shag all, how come your brand is more recognisable in Japan and in Australia and in South Africa?' I suppose it's a little bit of the rock'n'roll. I think it's the image of the Irish style of management." Whatever it is, it helps bring the company tens of millions of pounds every year.
"We want the chairman of a very large company with the opportunity of going with, say, Benetton or Arrows to say, 'Jesus, we like the way Jordan do it. They have a bit of rock'n'roll, they have a bit of style, they're carefree but at the same time they're serious about what they're doing. They're able to win and we now believe they could be possible world champions.' That could change the whole face of F1.
"This grey, serious image of F1 is nonsense. This is show business in a way, with a big 'S' in front of it, which stands for 'Sport'. Whether we like it or not, every Grand Prix there are 400 million live viewers watching the thing and you've got to have something different to the next guy."

Much will depend on Jordan's appetite for the battle. Two years ago he diluted his stake in the company when he sold off a 40% stake to Warburgs for around £40m, but his ambition seems undimmed none the less. However, his friend and the former Jordan and McLaren driver, John Watson, for one, questioned his methods yesterday.
"We're entering a period where the two main teams will win even more frequently and the others will win occasionally. Eddie needs to ask himself 'do I really want this?' If the answer is yes then he should stop the notoriety stuff and start working 10 times harder. His drivers lack credibility and if I were him I'd be on the phone to Jacques Villeneuve offering him £15m to come and join Jordan. And no messing around like he's doing at BAR. Both would have to want to win the championship. With Honda engines, and a driver like Villeneuve or a new Schumacher who will break Eddie's b*lls till they get what they want, Jordan could win the world championship."

Jordan says the new car has been "absolutely stunning" in testing over the past few days, but speculation about the respective strengths of the different teams remain just that until the Australian Grand Prix starts the season on March 4. Realistically, recovery of the third-place position by the end of the championship would be a sensational result.

Jordan the model has been warned by "friends" and the medical profession that she must call a halt to reshaping her body any further because of the medical dangers. For all his talk, one senses that Jordan the racing team leader already knows the dangers of expanding too far too quickly.